I feel I have been down lately.. Lots has been going through my mind. I have let my house go this week. I have clean and dirty mountains of laundry in my hall and in my room. Jon still cant find a job, rent is due again soon. No money to put gas in the car. Everyone is out of the flu and H1N1 shots. Im having major battle about food/weight with myself. I can go on and on..but I wont. I dont want to seem wo is me....
So I had to force myself off the couch with my body hurting. Its after 5 and my kids are getting hungry.. I need to start something for dinner. I just keep having thoughts in my head like, "you need to stop doing things half way, do the goals you want to get accomplished. Homemade meals that everyone enjoys, and are healthy. But Im to tired to stand and cook a big meal. But my kids are going to remember these things. I want to have them remember mom made great meals for us." "Why cant you just put things away and clean up after your done with something, then it wont be so messy...." So Im trying to be strong, Im trying to be knowledgeable about teaching my kids how to talk this way instead of that way, act this way instead of that way..but I cant think of it. I come across mean and grumpy snappy mom. WHY?! its bugging me so much. Im catching myself always saying "Shhh" or "go in the other room" I hate that. I am the only one that does these things?... k so I was putting away grocceries today and opened up my fridge and there was Lincolns favorite ball. I just grinned. Then hours later I was putting away the silverware, in the drawer was that same ball!...
I stopped and was thinking... so I came to my blog to write how I was feeling and that I should write about thankful things to my kids.
I am trying. We did have FHE this week.
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3 comments:
Oh sissy, I love you and you do great 98% of the time. with all the stress you can allow yourself the 2% slack =) If you need just you and Jon time for a date I would love to help you out.
thanks for helping with my kids this past week it wasn't a vacation but good "adult" time.
I love you and your harder on yourself than you need to be. I love you!
I think all mom's feel this way! I know I do. You have 4 kids so I'm sure you feel a million time more overwhelmed. Not everything has to be perfect. As long as you're trying that's all that matters! Don't be too hard on yourself. And if you have goals motivate yourself somehow, someway into keeping them. I know that I have a million goals and always break them. I'm so lazy! But lately I've decided NO more... you just have to make up your mind about it and JUST DO IT! And you needs some YOU time for sure! All moms do to function in a normal manner and to stay sane!!
You are a wonderful mom Sissy...all of this stress is just normal and you are handling it fine. I love you!
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